I'm Really Gone

This one goes to the tune of the Elvis Presley song All Shook Up.

Well, bless my soul, do you really think
That I’m alive and well working at Burger King
Didn’t you read the stories that I died in the john?
I fell off (boom) I’m really gone
It’s true, true baby.

Well, my fans are crazy. Tell me, what do you think?
Jim Morrison and I are living on the same street?
Tell me anyone who could keep a secret this long,
I wasn’t caught, (Proof), I’m really gone.
It’s true, true baby

Please don’t think that I’m well and fine,
I’m worth more now than when I was alive
And my little girl has put me to the test
She married someone who would scare me to death

She married the man they call The King Of Pop
If I were still alive, I would’ve surely dropped
But I’m glad to say she and he broke up
It wasn’t long, (ooh), I’m really gone
It’s true, true baby

My fans are waiting for me to speak
They see me everywhere every single week
But nobody has a camera that works just fine
Do you really need more proof that I’m not alive?

Just understand that the pills I got
Took me out, along with my big gut
So please stop overeating and taking drugs,
I was wrong, (mmph), and now I’m gone
It’s true, true baby
It’s true, true baby
I’m really gone

He Will Stalk You / We Are The Camera, Live at 10

This one goes to the tune of "We Will Rock You/We Are The Champions" by Queen.


_____________________________________________________________________________________

HE WILL STALK YOU

Honey, you're annoyed
With the pic boy
Laying in the street
You're gonna need a big man who's brave

Who's got scars on his face
To scare away
This dink who wants a picture today

Drinkin'?

He will, he will stalk you
He will, he will stalk you

Money for a young ma'am
Hard times, coming
Be discreet. You're gonna take all your meds today

You're on drugs, and he'll chase
For pics that pay
Weaving your van, or any disgrace

He will, he will stalk you
(Hit him!)
He will, he will stalk you

Honey, they have sold fans
More plans leaking
If your guys gonna take you to some big par-tay

Ya got coke on your face
He lies in wait
Til he gets a crack at your big pic of disgrace

He will, he will stalk you
(Click, Click)
He will, he will stalk you
(Show Your Body)
He will, he will stalk you
(Grin)
He will, he will stalk you
(No Rights)

WE ARE THE CAMERA, LIVE AT 10

We get our clues
Half of the time
From those with vengeance
Just bitter of your life

That's why we take
Those shots of you
That's why we run and click at your face
To sell to the news

(It just goes on and on and on and on)
(Chorus)

(CHORUS)
We are the camera. Live at 10
So please keep on smiling. I need a Benz
We need a racy shot.
We need a flashing shot.
No time is too cursed
Cause we are the camera.
Flash us, girls.

You've broken your vows
And made some bad calls
You've got the fame and firecrotch
You know they sold undies, didn't you
Down at the mall?

But it's been said that you're dozy
You know that you're screwed
We'll constantly try to catch you all in disgrace
When you're drunk on booze.

(Killing the buzz you're on, you're on, you're on, you're on)
(Chorus)

(CHORUS)
We are the camera. Live at 10
And we'll keep you frightened 'til you're dead
We are the camera
We will just hammer ya
Pose & smile for losers
Cause we are the camera.
Got ya girls.

We are the camera. Live at 10
And we'll be there hiding 'til you're pissed
We got the cameras
We know the path you're on
She paid for my pool, sir
cause I caught her with no panties on

I Was So Wasted

Dedicated to everyone who experiences liquor related memory loss on New Years Eve.
This one goes to the Garth Brooks tune "Friends In Low Places"


_____________________________________________________________________________________

I threw up on your boots?
And grabbed your wife’s boobs?
And ruined your white cats hair?

Where did I go?
I don’t even know
I just woke up in my underwear

And I was surprised
When the New Year arrived
And I wasn’t in the town jail

But now, I‘m mostly screwed
Not funny, royally tattooed
And I got more worries than bail
(chorus)


(CHORUS)
Because my friend
I was so wasted.
Drank the whiskey down
And then started chasing
Tequila Bay
And now I ‘m here to beg

Well, I was a pig
I crashed your places
I think I even punched
A couple of faces
Forgive me friends
I was so wasted!


Well, I guess that was wrong
When I fired up the bong
Again, I shouldn’t mix drugs with Coors

When I smashed out your light
Your Mom almost died
And she threw me right out through the door

And I didn’t see
Your wife’s new kitty
She isn’t still mad, is she friend?

I must’ve been high
Why does your dog seems to cower
When I come near him?
(chorus)


(CHORUS)
Because my friend
I was so wasted
When I hit on your spouse,
I was blitzed, let’s face it
I’m a fool today
I got a big headache

I know that some of my
Jokes were tasteless
Let’s just all sit down
Forget the court cases
I was an ass, my bad
I was so wasted
_____________________________________________________________________________________

Kramers Career Has Died

This one goes to the tune of Don McLean's "American Pie"


_____________________________________________________________________________________

A long long time ago
I can still remember when watching "Seinfeld"
Used to make me smile

I thought that under no circumstance,
Would there ever be a chance
That the funny big haired guy would ever be reviled.

Then came that night out in LA
Richards really wigged out that day

Now, everyone wonders about the man
Did Kramer really join the Klan?

Bad news for his co-star
Jerry has tried so hard
Took him on "Letterman" after dark
That day, the laughter died
So
(chorus)

CHORUS
Bye bye. Richards career has died
It's hard to laugh at Kramer now that we know what's inside
And on that stage, he lost all of his pride
Saying things that just didn't seem right
Saying things that just didn't seem right

Do you remember the slide across the floor
Every time that he opened up Jerry's door
The audience laughed every show

And although Jerry, George, and Elaine
Were spared any of Kramer's disdain
Could've Richards made a comeback? Now we'll never know

Cause we all saw the tape of him
Flipping out. The man needs a thick skin

He never had the right to say
Those hateful words that day

Now, it's hard to watch that freakin' show
Knowing now what we all know
With what we saw on that video
The day that his brain fried
His ears are ringin'
(chorus)

Now a little time has passed
Whole new scandals have been cast
But Richards still can't find work today

He went on Jesse Jackson's show
To apologize, and let the public know
That he didn't really feel that way

But some things are hard to forgive
No matter what's behind the motive

Now he sits home all alone
Cursing those with camera phones

Now I wonder what he regrets most
The break down, the words, or a little of both
Whatever it is, his careers now toast
That day, The K man died

And he'll be screamin'
(chorus)

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Who Raised The Flop

PARENTAL ADVISORY-LANGUAGE
This one goes to the tune of Barry Mann's "Who Put The Bop"
_____________________________________________________________________________________

I'd like to smack the guy
Who took it all
And made me go all in on a pair of queens

CHORUS
Who raised the flop, damn, the flop, the flop, the flop
Who put their hand in my damn gambling pot
Who gave the bump, oh, the bump, the bump, the bump
Who was the twit, yeah, the twit, the idiot
You'd understand
I'd like to break his hands
He raised and made me gamble everything

Where's that little turd (pow,pow pow pow,pow pow,pow pow pow)
Every chip went right into his account
And then he finished betting(damn him,damn him,damn him,damn him,damn him,damn it)
Now I've got nothing left to count
(chorus)

Sometimes I wish I'd known(looky,looky,looky,looky,looky,looky,you)
Give my money back. I am broke
Now, every time I want to(bet, bet bet bet bet, bet, bet bet bet bet)
I always think that I will choke
(chorus)

Darn thief,(stomp,stomp stomp stomp,stomp stomp,stomp stomp stomp)
It ain't funny,(catch your damn ding dong in your zipper)
And when I play(shit,shit,shit,shit,shit,shit,shit )
You know that I'm pissed off at you, you stupid stupid stupid dude.

Keep On Walkin'. He's A Creep, Girls

PARENTAL ADVISORY-LANGUAGE
This one goes to the tune of Neil Young's song "Keep On Rockin' In The Free World"

_____________________________________________________________________________________

He licks her on the feet
Then while he drools
He will stutter that they're sweet
He will steal her friggin' shoes

He has former wives who want him dead
There's a lot of people saying that he'd better payoff debts
Most girls won't date him, but I understand
Yo, he's highly perverted, he's a ladies man
(chorus)

CHORUS
Keep on walkin'. He's a creep, girls.
Keep on walkin'. He's so cheap, girls.
Keep on walkin'. He's no treat, girls.
Keep on walkin'. He's a creep, girls.

I've seen him movin' in the night
He's had maybe 9 or 10
King cans of Coors Light
(he can barely stand)
He can barely stand
(he can barely stand)

Now he puts that shit away and he's gonna have a fit
He'll waste his life, cause he's a dumb dimwit
He's a dumb, poor twit. Always take him for a fool
Never try to fall in love, ever with this freakin' tool
(chorus)

He's got a thousand wars to fight
With a hopeless plan
He's got a mind to fight you. He is not a man
He's got canker sores, and a toilet face
He'll stand up and box you if you're period's late
He's not a fan of people that are more his size
They'll knock him on his ass, that's no big surprise
(chorus)
_____________________________________________________________________________________

Dumbass On Weed

PARENTAL ADVISORY-LANGUAGE/SUBJECT MATTER!

This one goes to the tune of Dire Strait's "Sultan Of Swing"
_____________________________________________________________________________________
He starts to quiver in the dark
Keeps a lookout for a narc
Cause he's buying
An ounce of the best pot he's ever seen
From a dude that he's only known for a short time
He feels alright
When he finally gets that weed

Now he runs and he hides
So he won't see too many faces
Comin' in to be a pain
And bring his buzz down
He caught a vision of his shoelaces
Thought they were worms
His brain isn't that sound

When he looks down

When he says, "Now, I want Gummies now"

Look out. His car's an old Ford
It blows by all accords
Mind you, it doesn't always get him
From point A to point B
But that old car is all that he can afford
Cause he fills his pipe
Every day with that weed

Now Mary Jane is fine
If he wants to bake pastries
He better pray those brownies
Come out alright
He can screw up quite a lot
Just like anything
Baking that pot
On Friday night

He's a dumbass

He's a dumbass on weed

Then he proudly makes noise
"They're cooling right now. Place your order"
Skunks the best
In their brown baggies
With hairs of gold
He only puts a gram
In all of that scrumptious brownie pan
They want their money back
Or heads will roll

And the dumbass

Yeah, the dumbass stays real low

Real low, baby
(lead break)

Then the man with the cops
Says what's up on the megaphone
"Come out fast, or some damn bullets will ring"
Serves him right, he's been dimed, now jail is his home
But he ain't got class. He's a ding a ling

He is a dumbass

He is a dumbass on weed
_____________________________________________________________________________________

I'll Bet A Round

This one goes to the tune of "I Get Around" by the Beach Boys
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Round, round bet a round I'll bet a round
Yeah, bet a round whoo hoo I'll bet a round

CHORUS
I'll bet a round(round round bet a round I'll bet a round)
I'll double down(down down double down I'll double down)
Though I ain't won yet(bet a round, double down, all over town)
On one single bet(I have found, when I'm down, I'll double down)

1. I'm getting bugged betting numbers when I play roulette
I try to stick with double 00's, and they haven't hit yet.
My buddies and me are at the casino
Yeah, I lost a ton of money and the pit boss knows
(chorus)

2. I always take my charms like my rabbit's feet
And I think that it's finally gonna be sweet
The dealer is ready and he's in my sight
And if I lose, the guard will have to stop the fight
_____________________________________________________________________________________

My Kids Are Freakin' Nuts

This one goes to the tune of Queen's "Another One Bites The Dust"

_____________________________________________________________________________________
1. I see them daily on the street, with their pants slung way down low
Hopping along to a rappin’ beat, not caring what they show
Are they crazy? Are they nuts? My daughter really scares me
Her favorite song is called My Humps, by a group called BEP
(chorus)

CHORUS
My kids are freakin’ nuts
My kids are freakin’ nuts
They want an I pod and
They want an X box
My kids are freakin’ nuts
Hey, they want money too
My kids are freakin’ nuts

2. Maybe they think that my hard earned dough comes to me for free
I’d welcome them to take a walk out back and find that money tree
We’ve got rent to pay, and food to buy, we gotta pay utilities
“Daddy, can I have a car?” Well, only if we don’t eat.
(chorus)

My kids are nuts,
absolutely

My kids are freakin' nuts
There's no if's and's or but's
We just may end up in a hut
'Cause my kids are freakin' nuts

Heyyyyyyyyyyy

Ooooh, no doubt.....


3. There are many bills that have to be paid, so don’t give me that frown
There’s the lights, the phone, the heat and the gas. Sorry to let you down
I’m Daddy, I’m not the bank. I love you endlessly
But $100 bucks for a pair of jeans! Ya gotta be kidding me?
(chorus)

The Fight Is On, Ding Ding

This one goes to the tune of ELO's "Rock and Roll Is King"

_____________________________________________________________________________________
1.Well listen everybody, there's a story that you probably know
Rosie slammed Trump on the View, and The Donald said, ""Let's go!"
Now Trump calls her a loser, all right
And Rosie isn't afraid to fight
It is
(chorus)

CHORUS
Donald and Rosie,
The fight is on
Ding ding

2. Now they’re both barking, and won’t admit that they’re wrong
They are shakin’ New York like they wannabe ol’ King Kong
If you feel the rumble beneath your feet
Ya better get your butt off of the street
It is
(chorus)

BRIDGE
So when the fight breaks out
Wait for me
Wait for me
I wanna see how this feud plays out
They are both off their friggin’ trees

3. Donald says he was slammed, and that nothing about it was fair
And Rosie is raggin’ on him about his women and his hair
Here is what they outta do
Sell tickets on a pay per view
It is
(chorus)
(lead break)
(bridge)

4. So Donald told us Barbara said Rosie wouldn’t be there long
Barbara said Trump had lied. She never tried to sing that song
So now I wanna see it on my TV
“Trump and the Lump” live at MSG
It is
(chorus)
_____________________________________________________________________________________

Dang Crazy Dog

This one goes to the tune of Steve Miller's "Dance Dance Dance"
_____________________________________________________________________________________
My dumb dog, he'll always try
To chase cars. How is he still alive?
That old dog, he's crazy too
He barks at the TV. What can I do?

I don't know, but he's getting old
He'll sniff your crotch like it's made of Alpo
C'mon, Rover. You're a pretty good dog
Just some things you do ain't right
(chorus)

CHORUS
Dang Dang Dang
Dang Dang Dang
Dang Dang Dang, Crazy Dog

He chews old socks, and underwear
Dirty or clean. He just don't care
He'll sniff your bum with great delight
And chase his freakin' tail all night

When my friends come over, they laugh and roar
Watching him drag his butt across the floor
C'mon Rover, It's a pretty gross one
To watch you lick your butt all night
(chorus)

I still love him. He's a pretty good egg
Just keep your eyes open, or he'll hump your leg
If you get up. he'll steal your seat
And if you move him, he'll pee on your feet

Just be careful when he kisses your face
His tongue's been just about every place
C'mon Rover, I love you, dog
Ya make me laugh every night
(chorus)
___________________________________________________________________________

Crappy Hyundai

This song goes to the tune of "Manic Monday" by the Bangles

_____________________________________________________________________________________
1. Six o'clock this evening. I was really starting to get steamed
I was missing my supper cause this piece of crap quit on me
Now I'm late, and I'm stuck here stranded on this highway
I guess I'll just have to sit here, waiting for Triple A
(chorus)

CHORUS
I'm stuck with a crappy Hyundai
I wish there was someway
To buy a Porsche by Monday
My wife says that there's no way
I'm stuck with a crappy Hyundai.

2. It won't start this morning, and it's starting to aggrivate me
I gave it some gas, but it does nothing when I turn the key
I'm banging on the dashboard, yelling and starting to cuss
I spent so much on this lemon, I can't even afford the bus
(chorus)

BRIDGE
Oh, my wife wants a lift down to the corner store
I try to tell her that the car is broke. It won't go anymore
Finally, when I think she agrees to nix it
She says, "Honey, you're a man. You can fix it"

Oh man, I need a drink real bad
(chorus)
_____________________________________________________________________________________

Make You Smile

This is a parody of the Proclaimers song "500 Miles"

_____________________________________________________________________________________
1. When I write a
When I write a parody
I'll always try to write something that you

Will laugh at
Laugh at hysterically
Try to time out all the words too

Sometimes it screws up
Yeah, it screws up horribly
Even I gotta look at it and say p u

So I'll rewrite
And rewrite some more
Until I think that it's ready to view
(chorus)

CHORUS
But I won't stop trying to make you smile
And if you do, I'll write some more
Until I write the perfect song that makes you
Pee your pants, and fall on the floor

2. I know that
That I'm not Jerry Reed
Or Ray Stevens, or even Weird Al too

But I'll try to
Try to write some comedy
Laughter is the cure for the blues

The world is fightin
The world ain't too funny
The war is always on the news

So I'll take comedy
No one likes to laugh at tragedy
There's a fine line that's drawn between the two
(chorus)

3. When I check out
When I'm on the gurney
And when my skin is turning a shade of blue

Then it's over
My songs are history
I hope at least one of them got to you

When I walk up
Up to the Pearly Gates
When St. Peter says, "What can I do for you?"

I'll say I was someone
Who tried to make people laugh
And hopefully he says, "Good job, you can go on through!"
(chorus)

When Mickey Mouse Is a Talkin'

This one goes to the tune of the Stevie Ray Vaughn song, "If The House Is Rockin'"

_____________________________________________________________________________________
CHORUS
When Mickey Mouse is a talkin', with high pitched squawkin'
When Mickey Mouse is a talkin', with high pitched squawkin'
When Mickey Mouse is a talkin', he reminds me of Michael Jackson


1. Mickey is a mouse that people love
Walt is looking down from Heaven above
Michael is creepy, and Mickey's beloved
They both share something
A white face and white glove

2. Both have rides in their backyards
Trying to lure the kids in real hard
Michael was aquitted, despite the "Jesus Juice" part
I'm sure we can trust our kids to Mickey
But with Michael, ya better stay on yer guard
_____________________________________________________________________________________

Cooked Goose

This parody was written to the tune of "FOOTLOOSE"

_____________________________________________________________________________________

1. I'm drivin' my car
Away from the bar
Eight beers. So what?
Don't tell me not to drive, you nut

My car is speedin'
I can't see the clouds in the sky
More beer I'm needin
Uh oh, I'm seeing those red and blue lights (chorus)

Now, I got a cooked goose
Cooked goose
In the court, I know I'll lose
Screwed me royally
My wife is gonna kill me
The cops said stop
Before my tires were shot
Now I lose. I got the blues
Man, I didn't need a cooked goose

2. I blew into a breath tube
Feeling just like a boob
Why didn't my stupid car stall
After I sucked down all that alcohol

Now I'm needin
A lawyer that will work for free
Cause my wife is leavin
And takin' all of my money

I Know My Weed ("I've Been Everywhere" parody)

For my final parody of 2006, I thought I would write something that required a bit of thought! Try to sing it if you can, but I accept no responsibility for any twisted tongue syndromes that result if attempted! Another PARENTAL ADVISORY is issued with this parody also! It goes to the tune of Hank Snow's hit from long ago, "I've Been Everywhere"!
_____________________________________________________________________________________

I was smoking my pipe, Along the alley behind my home
When a long hair happened by, and said, "What ya smokin', Bro"
I said, "It's a mix of Maui and Thai, Skunk, and Big Bud."
He stared and he stuttered just like Elmer Fudd.
He said, "How the hell could you find, so much fuckin' grass?"
and I said," Listen bud, I've smoked every kind, I've been so blessed!"

CHORUS
Hell I know my weed, man
Yes I know my weed, man
Even all the seeds, man
Pot is what ya need, man
Comin' down off of speed, man
Yes, I know my weed

I've seen big buds, small buds, sticky buds, pricky buds,
stinky buds, dinky buds,wicked buds, sick buds,
red buds, brown buds, green buds, gold buds,
purple buds, blue buds, even maroon buds,
flat buds, fat buds, new buds, old buds,
wet buds, dry buds, wickedly high buds (chorus)

I've seen reefer, mary jane, ganja, ease the pain
take a puff, take a toke, hold it in, don't choke
white widow, red hair, sensi with a certain flair
temple balls, wicked hash, moroccan worth a lot of cash
up smoke, down smoke, in smoke, out smoke
everything you could toke, even tried a little coke (chorus)

I've seen kick ass, wicked grass, big mass, smokin' glass,
hash pipe, weed pipe, stubby pipe, long pipe
tall bongs, tiny bongs, toke until you fall bongs,
vaporizers, power hitters, silly smoke, give ya titters
get high, get flaked, get stoned, get baked
Cheech and Chong, trippy songs, even Tommy Chong's bongs (chorus)

Jingle Balls ( A Ho Ho Ho Dog Christmas)

_____________________________________________________________________________________

WARNING: This song contains coarse language that may be disturbing to some people.

This one goes to the tune of "Jingle Bells"!

Just remember, if you go for that one night stand, STD's are the least of your worries if her husband or jealous boyfriend finds out. They'll kill ya faster than all of those diseases combined!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays
_____________________________________________________________________________________

Dashing thru the halls
Where the hell'd I put my clothes
I saw the headlights on the wall
And heard the car door close

Nice time to tell me now
He's 7 foot tall and mean
I hear his key in the front door
I'm shakin' in my jeans...cause


CHORUS
Her hubby's home. I gotta go
All I wanted was a piece of ass
Now I'm sneaking out the back window
Trying not to break the glass

I didn't know that she was wed
Now I'm bouncing off the walls
I gotta go cause if not, I'm dead
He'll break my fuckin' balls!


He's into martial arts
And alway's carries a gun
Likes to take things apart
I think I outta run

Tiptoe through the house
I'd better make it fast
Cause if I'm not quiet as a mouse
He'll shoot my goddamn ass (chorus)


So I got away
And got on with my life
But I still remember that day
When I banged his wife

I know he'll break my neck
If I nail her again someday
She sure was wild in the sack
Why the hell wasn't I born gay? (chorus)
_____________________________________________________________________________________

Mockingbird Parody

In the late sixties, A group of comedians in Canada called "The Brothers-In-Law" came out with an album that had a song like this one, but it's lyrics were using foreign sports cars for the words. I just wrote my own lyrics with the cars being updated for the people who are more familiar with cars being driven in North America. I claim rights to the lyrics only. The punchline was included in the original BIL album!
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Hush little baby, don't say a word
Daddys gonna buy you a Thunderbird
And if that Thunderbird don't go
Daddys gonna buy you a Camaro

Now, if you're not a Camaro fan
Daddys gonna buy you a Chevy Van
And if something in the van goes clang, clang, clang
Well, daddys gonna buy you a new Mustang

And if that Mustang don't bring new friends
Daddys gonna buy you a Mercedes Benz
And if you're still not as happy as can be
Well, daddys gonna buy you a new Ferrari

And if that Ferrari doesn't come in black
Daddys gonna buy you a Cadillac
And if you're still not as happy as you can get
Daddys gonna buy you a new Corvette

And if a Corvette still isn't your choice
Daddys gonna buy you a new Rolls Royce
And if that Rolls still makes you balk
Well I give up baby. Ya can damn well walk!
____________________________________

Tribute To Tommy Chong 3

Here is the latest tribute song that I wrote the lyrics to. This time, it goes to the "Gilligan's Island" theme.
_____________________________________________________________________________________

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale
A tale of some scary crap
Chong opened up his door one day
He knew he was entrapped

They said that he'd get house arrest
He'd be home to Shelby soon
But if he didn't plead guilty
His family was doomed
His family was doomed

The pressure started getting rough
The narcs were in his face
They knew if it went to trial
The feds would be disgraced
The feds would be disgraced

So Tommy Chong got sent away
Thanks to some assholes like

The President
The FBI too
The DEA
and it's file
The rats and narcs
The screw job by Uncle Sam
Just for making us smile!!!!!
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Cheech and Chong merchandise is available online. The C&C link above the parody will take you there directly.

Tribute To Tommy Chong 2

Here is another tribute I wrote to Tommy Chong. This one goes to the Brian Hyland tune "Itsy Bitsy, Teeny Weeny, Yellow Polkadot Bikini"
_____________________________________________________________________________________

They were afraid to explain their actions
They sent Tommy to jail so he could see
That they were not in the mood for laughing
War is fine, but comedy ain't funny

2-3-4 Next time Tom, don't answer the door (chorus)

(CHORUS)
It was an itsy bitsy,teeny weeny,
narc.I nearly flipped my beanie
When they sent Chong away that day

An itsy bitsy, teeny weeny,
Uncle Sam is such a meanie
Give Chong back the bong!
It should be that way

2-3-4 Dick Tracy lied. That son of a whore

So he went into the prison with a target
People tried to get themselves a plea
By trying to set Tommy up, and ratting
Well now, kiss his ass cause he now is free

2-3-4 Don't drop the soap, your ass'll be sore (chorus)

So now he's free, still making us laugh
He and Shelby keep the show on the road
But now he has to say that he doesn't smoke up
The DEA is a huge, stinking load!!!!
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Cheech and Chong merchandise is available online. The C&C link above the parody will take you there directly.

Tribute To Tommy Chong 1

Sung to the tune of Steve Miller’s “The Joker”
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Some people call him the king of toke
Some call him Tommy Chong
Some people call him a stoner
But not anymore, since the feds came along

He saw that the law was as crooked as can be
They said,"You're gonna plead guilty, or we'll charge your family"
So he does it, yeah, he does it and he goes and he does his time.
Come on, baby, I'll sure tell you what should be the crime

(CHORUS)
He ain't smokin'
He ain't tokin'
He don't feel like jokin'
Uncle Sam took away his bong

The feds dropped by
Not to get high
Just to blackmail the guy
They can't find Osama, so they'll settle for Chong

The narc's think that they just ruined his life
Lied straight to his face, and just twisted the knife
Now he's gotta say, gotta say that he ain't gettin' high
Come on, baby, let's hope that the feds are making him lie
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Cheech and Chong merchandise is available online. The C&C link above the parody will take you there directly.